By purposely shifting our attention from our worries and fears and consciously aim our focus on others and of our surroundings, whatever anxiety we were feeling soon diminishes. This change of focus does not mean we are to ignore our problems, it just means we need a break from ceaseless worrying which only taxes our energy; energy that could be well spent somewhere else. Just dwelling in our problems, brings us further down into a spiraling pit of discord and disharmony. If we allow ourselves to remain in such a place we will be of no helpful use to ourselves or to others. By purposely focusing on others, we quickly put ourselves into a tranquil state of mind. Coming into such a state brings calming to our thoughts and dissolves some of our fears and enables us to look at our own problems differently, with more of a thoughtful perception… one that is no longer heavily clouded by fears and worry. Learning to sit back, as calmly as possible to find the good, even in our hardest and most trying of circumstances leads us to better understanding of ourselves, our surroundings and the people that are a part of our lives.
Our failures are our teachers too
Wallowing in despair has never provided us with resolution or clarification. Allowing ourselves to sit deeply in despair only invites further feelings of negativity to take root. Understandably, not achieving our goals or not quite getting the expected outcome can be disappointing. It is too easy to allow our emotional ego to take us downward with feelings of regret and disharmony. It requires great courage and inner strength to admit something was missed and to see that even our failures are valuable teachers. By going over what we did correctly, we clearly get to see what we overlooked. Sometimes it is the slightest detail that brings us to defeat or success. Being grateful for what every situation brings, even the hard ones, even the ones where we fail at, helps to restore faith and hope in ourselves for future endeavors. Only we can restore our confidence and it begins by changing how we think.
Goodbye to guilt
Guilt can be pretty destructive of our self-confidence and self-esteem, depending on how deeply we become engrossed by the emotional event that brought it on. If our guilt is large enough, it can take over whatever good feelings we had of ourselves and replace them with tainted, thoughts of smallness and insecurities. Guilt can easily be viewed as one of the parasitic of emotions and the moment we realize guilt is robbing us of our precious self-worth, we need to begin re-claiming our self back. One of the best ways of getting rid of guilt is through the powers of forgiveness. We make mistakes. We are nowhere near perfect. When we make a blunder, no matter the size, we need to say to the temptation of guilt and forgive ourselves and forgive the situation for unfolding the way it did. We can even go as far as forgiving the people that may have been involved either in person or silently in your mind. Through the power of forgiveness we release ourselves from tight grip of guilt and deliver ourselves into freedom of unnecessary worry. When we are not encumbered with worry, we are happier, more at peace and more in harmony with our whole self. What a marvelous place to be.
Making positive, mindful choices
It is sometimes a challenge to see that even our darkest of trials and tribulations has something positive to teach us. Good comes to us from many angles. Even if we are dealing with family issues, poor health, or something else of great importance, we don’t have to be become aggressive and fearful. Yes things can be bad, but every situation shows us important details that shouldn’t be overlooked. Through every situation, especially the serious ones and the ones that could easily bring us down, we can pick apart the details and see what it is we want to be, we can see there are others in worse situations, we are not the only ones suffering, and we can see what we don’t want, etc., and from all the observing we are doing, we can also let the fears and worries go and embrace the clarity that fills our perception so we can bring ourselves peace of mind. Troubles will come our way, this is true. But we don’t have to be frightened of them when we can handle anything when we relax our thoughts in order for our true self to become positively active in our actions, words, intentions and choices.
When we suffer, we endure
Observing another person’s suffering or remembering one of our own difficult times reminds us that we as human beings are persistent and enduring. It makes little difference of the size of someone’s suffering, what is important to note is that, through their own ways, they will get through it. You did, I did, and they will overcome their troubles. It might not be an overnight quick fix. It might take a few days, weeks, months or even years. We need to make friends with time instead of putting a rigid timeline on when we should be done dealing with our troubles.
When we are hurting we need to be compassionate and kind towards ourselves. When we observe others’ suffering, we can demonstrate compassion through carefully chosen words, actions and feelings. When we are hurting, we really don’t want to hurt another just because they are wanting to help us. It is hard for some people to let others in to help, even if its just in a kind word or two. Practicing empathy and loving-kindness builds bridges where there were once gaps and through our construction of bridges we build together a foundation of trust, compassion and love that will bring about acceptance, respect and consideration and much more.
Making humble choices
When we choose our actions to demonstrate the humbleness of our true self, we are saying we prefer the truth than deliberately mocking or making fun of others. Humiliating others does not demonstrate a good, kind heart. When we insult people, even if the words never leave our minds, we are hurting not only them, but ourselves as well. Having a good heart and representing this goodness on a consistent basis will help propel us away from being mean to others and to see that each of us is on a life journey. We may not always see eye-to-eye, or follow the exact same practices, but we can be friendly and respectful towards the areas we don’t know, understanding that we have just as many similarities as we have differences… and just maybe, it will be the similarities that will encourage more unity than separation.