Ceremony for my Hysterectomy
…a letting go of my Uterus and Cervix
Date of Ceremony: July 22, 2014
Time began: roughly 6 pm
Time ended: 7:25 pm
I had originally planned on performing a healing ceremony for myself. Usually I perform them for others in through distance healing and for cleansing of over 100 chakras. Today was one of the first times I performed and invoked for my own healing. Performing a healing ceremony done in the way I have always done rituals, is a little different than when I do spell work, yet still just as powerful.
At the beginning of the ceremony, before I invoked the chosen spirits to my circle I noted that there was no other women present who are going to have a hysterectomy. Admitting this, I, through spirit vocalized connection with women around the world who are about to have a similar procedure done, where they are saying good-bye to certain feminine parts forever.
I am to share some of what I used, spoke and what I was able to see through a deep meditation/vision quest.
“I open to the cosmic flow of that which my womb has received entrainment to by the Greater Womb of Creation, so that I might facilitate this for others who desire the same.”
After great research, these are the Goddesses, Lord and Lady that I chose.
- I call upon the Great Goddess of Earth and the
powers of the North – Gaia
- I call upon the Great Goddess of Fire and the
powers of the South – Brigid
- I call upon the Great Goddess of Water and the
powers of the West – Astarte
- I call upon the Great Goddess of Air and the
powers of the East – Hera
- Facing East – I welcome the energy of the beginning way, the rising sun at the beginning of the day and the light of illumination. Welcome Eagle, flying nearest the heavens, with the clearest of vision. I welcome the energies and spirits of the East. HO! Hera, Welcome!
- Facing South – I welcome the energy of service to all my relatives, the heat of the noonday sun and the spirit of action in the world. Welcome Coyote spirit. I welcome the energies and spirits of the South. HO! Brigid, Welcome!
- Facing West – I welcome the energy of looking within to find the gifts of healing. Welcome Bear spirit going deep within to seek the gift of renewal. I welcome the energies and spirits of the West. HO! Astarte, Welcome!
- Facing North – I welcome the energy of wisdom and blessing and the Grandmothers and Grandfathers who teach me. Welcome Buffalo and the spirit of giveaway, teach me to be generous and honor all that I receive. I welcome the energies and spirits of the North. HO! Gaia, Welcome!
- Looking up – I welcome the energy and spirit of Above. Father Sky, Star people, and Cloud people. Welcome all that is masculine, grandfathers, fathers, brothers, uncles and sons. And that masculine energy that also exists within the feminine. I welcome the energies and spirits of Father Sky. HO! God, Krishna, YHWH, and ALL names that you are, Welcome!
- Looking down (touching the ground) – I welcome the energy of Mother Earth, the feminine principle, the energy and spirit of Below. I welcome the energy and the spirit of our grandmothers, our mothers, sisters, aunties and daughters. And that feminine energy that exists within the Masculine. I welcome the energies and spirits of Mother Earth. HO! To ALL the mother Goddesses, Hecate, Isis and Cerridwen I call to you, Welcome!
- Looking within (holding your hands over your heart) – I welcome the energy of Within, the principle of being connected, the energy and spirit of Within. I welcome the gifts of balance, oneness, and the connection with all things, for all things are one and all things are related. HO! To the Goddess in me, to the Divine Feminine and Woman I AM, Welcome!
Egyptian Goddess Nut sacred holder of cardinal points is Lady of ceremony, Geb is Lord, God of the Earth
My body told me when it was time to perform this ceremony, as the house was quiet and empty.
I did listen to the earnest voice within me and I followed my heart, knowing that there was something within me that required healing, something deep within, something un-nameable, something I may have forgotten, didn’t remember or realize I was missing.
I did admit I wished for what has been sleeping deep inside of me for so long to wake up and to reveal itself. I, in trust of my own intentions went within, urging what has been covered up for so long, blocked and denied to come forward and let itself be known, to be removed for deeper healing to take place.
‘Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!”
“Wake up from your slumber, reveal yourself to me and to the doctors that are looking for you in a couple of days. Don’t be afraid any longer, let yourself be known, let me know your existence, let us release you.”
After a few more invocations, and vocalizations I went into a deep meditative state. It took a few minutes, not many to begin to vision. I cannot place the exact order, just what I remember and what I remember in the order is how I am to remember.
What I first met was what looked like a lunar eclipse, showing a glimmer of moon-light through a tiny crescent. This image stayed with me for quite some time then gave away to total blackness.
I was then beckoned by a smoky purplish gray hand. I watched myself take this hand in trust knowing it was my Patron Goddess, Hecate as she has been exceptionally near of late. I was then taken through many realms as energy and dimensions changed. I saw many eyes upon me, near me, most of them feminine, I did see a couple masculine faces, but none that were distinctive. For a time being I was surrounded by muted, burnt orange energy. I found it very soothing, something like the colour of Autumn. Autumn is my favourite of seasons. I was then shown a circle. This circle was made of 5 feminine shimmering shapes. Each being had their hands extended, their fingers touching someone on a platform, possibly altar or table. As their energies came together it created a most other-worldly shade of green, blue, purple and orange. I am sure there were other colours, but they were the most distinct. I later learned the one on the table-like platform was myself. The air above me was intense, electrifying. I felt a surge going through my own fingers, I felt my face, my head, my shoulders being touched…I tingled with incredible energy. I have no good choice of words to express what I saw, so please forgive me if I sound repetitive. As this image blended away another took its place. I saw from one of the eyes that was observing me, they showed me a black oily substance that is within my own body. I remember before I headed into this deep meditative state that I asked this hidden part, the reason for all the scar tissue to be so aggressive to show itself and it did. It came out something that is spikey, I can’t put words to what I saw. It wasn’t scary. It reminds me now something like a crab, but not a crab as it is not any kind of animal, but something that is circular with a jagged spikiness to it. Then this oily, jagged smudge suddenly glowed with brilliant golden light that eventually dimmed to something of a dark gold, a kind of gold that is ancient. Then I knew I was in the presence of an ancient spirit, one that I had not invoked, but one that came. This realization has just come now as I write this. At this point, I am not being told who this ancient is. Before I knew it, this dark gold exploded into an array of what was given to me through spirit as the power of purple. It sounded silly at the time, but I am a believer of colours and their meaning and purple has always been an important colour and the past several days I have been wearing all the purple I own, some of the herbs and flowers I gave at the end of my ceremony as an offering were mostly purple.
While I was seeing, I was also hearing. Both my children were out, away for several hours, yet there were footsteps. We have 2 house guardians that patrol the perimeter and interior of our home. Usually we hear them late at night and very early in the morning. They were here while I was in this state protecting me and my home, even though both children were gone…their energy and presence always remains, even in the quiet of their absence. The presence of my house guardians was deeply comforting.
Then the vision ended and I knew the ceremony was over. I then proceeded to thank each quadrant for joining my ceremony and each goddess for attending my circle, I then went through the process of closing the circles, the walls and the gates. Ceremony was over.
I feel warm all over. Not the kind of warmth from having a warm day due to climate, but a warmth from within. When the ceremony was over, there was a stabbing pain in the left side of my pelvic area, where the majority of my pain sits, now it is gone. I am grateful for this experience and it humbles me to share this with you.
When I first began, I thought I would cry, I expected to cry as I was letting something go that has been an important part of my body. When I first began to speak my words, my voice shook with threatened tears but as I welcomed each Goddess, each creature, each elemental direction I became stronger, I re-discovered my Strength that was just previously stumbling along, but now is tall and confident. I am so ready for this procedure. I know the healing is long, and the pain will be from the healing process, different from the pain of suffering and discomfort.
Even though I knew I would have a hysterectomy before I reached 50, and even though I accepted this outcome I did go through a grieving process the same way you do when someone dies. I am now ready for my uterus and cervix to be removed for the betterment of my health and if down the road my ovaries and tubes become a health issue, then I will bring back this ceremony and ready my body, my heart, my mind and my soul once again.
Much love to all women who have had to have hysterectomies. It makes little difference to me what kind of hysterectomy you had, having one is a big deal and every woman needs to be appreciated for going through such an ordeal that does not only affect the body, but the mind, heart and soul as well. Our life changes afterwards, there is no going back, and what comes to us may be good, bad or something in the middle. What is important is how we react with each new situation we face. Just because a precious part of our body has been removed doesn’t make us any less of a person. ❤