Grateful towards my pain

My community is pain, simply because I live in pain 24/7 and I try to understand it.

I know, more or less, where my pain is coming from. It’s coming from the many conditions that I have been blessed to experience. To know some of my conditions and such, this is the page where I shared much of them:

I consider each pain to be a blessing because it reminds me that I am alive and not buried beneath the ground or burned into ashes. I am grateful for being able to feel the pain I feel. I know there are many people who are unable to feel such pain due to their own medical issues.

But, just because I know where the pain is coming from doesn’t mean I don’t want deeper answers or other solutions, if they are possible for me to take part in. Depending on the severity of certain conditions, some treatments are not possible. I have already been told I am not a good candidate for any form of cervical spine surgery due to the multi-level issues found there. But I also know there is more going on than what has previously been discovered.

In Canada, there is no cost to see a doctor but depending on the circumstance a referral is required which comes from a general practitioner or family doctor. There must be just cause and it makes little difference how much money you make. I do go to physio-therapy. There are physiotherapy places paid by OHIP, and there are many more that are private that don’t require a referral from a doctor or prescription even if we have insurance. I do go to a place that is private. My physiotherapist has become become much more aggressive since my EMG came back normal and they indicated a change in medicine as well in more aggressive exercises that would encourage greater range of motion in order to get the muscles working near and around the spine. I also have to have massage therapy which has helped considerably, even though it has many times made me nauseous and sometimes dizzy. It was with her that I discovered my issue with the Occiput region.

I am also a pagan who practices as often as possible and it depends on my level of pain. Much of my pain, symptoms and even conditions has been lessened from the work I do through meditation and prayer to the gods and goddesses I work with. I do grow my own healing herbs which I have tried to take but do not like the taste. I am my own worst patient as a result. As I harvest this year’s medicinal herbal bounty, I will once again try to drink some St. John’s Wort, Valerian and Feverfew in a tea… they smell and taste so bad but do a whole lot of good…naturally.

I have also learned eating bananas regularly helps improve bone health and hot peppers help to naturally reduce inflammation. I try to eat more celery for it’s help in reducing inflammation as well. I am growing Swiss Chard this year, and it will benefit my bones as well.

Even though writing notes like these hurts me it is a good mental exercise. I find so much clarity from writing and a release of pent up energies that I may have been unaware of before.

We all have our own personal way of dealing with our pain. No one way is better than another’s, just like in spiritual practice. On the intense days I like to meditate on the pain and try to enter it’s core and breathe in healing energy and vibration during every inhale and exhale, trusting in the presence of the healing god/goddess’s presence and their aid.

I hope wherever you are, that the climate is fair in your heart and in your natural surroundings so you may find peace wherever you go. ❤

Flowers of St. John’s Wort



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